Thursday, December 30, 2010

The Ruff-top Doggy

Heights! They scare most, but not the Claus, baby! Another Christmas passed, and Santa led his troops above the laws of gravity onto your rooftop. He dove soot deep, chimney-shimmied into your home, and left his presents trailing behind. Predictable, right?
In a different manner, Sammy, a Santa-wanna-be, climbed to the roof too. Let’s start at the story’s beginning:

Once upon a time there lived two step-brothers as roommates.
 The Odd Couple (FYI: These two aren't really a couple):
One messy                                                   One clean
A chef a-la-microwave                                   A gourmet cook
     The puppyless-puppylover                       An owner of a puppy named Sam

Together, this odd couple resided in good cheer.
They enjoyed the southern summer weather…from the inside of their well-temped home. North Carolinian Junes to Augusts repeat a predictable course of smothering hot days proceeded by smoldering hot nights. An occasional storm does barrel through, through, and “Wrrrrrip” through the boys' screen door. The wire threads free, they taunted the home-owners in the wind.
The clean man debated: “To fix or not to fix?”
Messy man reflexed, “To fix it, later on!”
Without demur, clean man decided, “Our $$ is tight, so I agree.”
But, this decision backfired when a fiery parcel scorched their procrastination. The Alpha-Omega of the housing development sent the message direct to Sammy’s owner. His words blazing, "Please note that your mongrel dog is a regular on your roof. Control him. Or else…."
This picture supported his contention.
At that, the two men gawked, “Sammy, you? On the roof? How could? Was it? Really? Whaaa?” In those moments the hole in the screen took on new form: a make-shift corridor for their little escape artist.
The evidence all in, the conclusion inescapable: During office hours, when the humans leave home to work their cubicles hard, this lonesome doggy darts for the roof. There’s no harnessing this pup's outdoorsy spirit, not even a door. 
How would they teach this doggy right?  For starters, screen-door-patchwork it'll be.
Speaking of patchwork...
For this year's Christmas game, our family genetically tested Sammy to identify his background (Why would we do that? To find out, check this site).  Sammy's a piecemeal of breeds.

Do you want to join the fun? Make your guesses: 
Take into account his innocent-yellow eyes, a golden-brown-Viszla-like coat, and skin-folds leaving room to grow. But don't let his puppy-like features fool you. Along with some other "Go_  Samit!" antics, he pursues horses 5 times his size in a purely pestering manner.
He also hangs a frog-like tongue,  
has lap-dog sleeping patterns,
and don't forget his table manners!

I have no faith in you, dearest reader. You'll never guess him. Even Shannon was surprised by the answer! 
Okay, ready for the big reveal? We dubbed him a Chowpoogleweiler. Rightly so. Our "patch-work" breed is a melting pot of beagle-poodle-Rotweiler-chow. All that to create Sam's pretty face??

Up on the Roof Top and Chow Down
For this Holiday feast, I must give credit where HUGE credit is due:
Andy started on the Roast Beast (fried turkey) the night before Christmas. Dipped in a sweet brine, the turkey tasted of licorice anise-picklie flavor.
NUTRITION in Fried Turkey??
Not surprisingly, a deep fried bird contains more fat and calories than an oven roasted turkey.  The nutritional information for a 3.5 ounce portion of deep fried turkey skin and all contains 190 calories and 11 grams of fat.  Equal portions of roasted turkey breast (with the skin) typically contains about 165 calories and 7 grams of fat.  A roasted skinless 3.5 oz breast weighs in at 140 calories and 3.5 grams of fat.  One that's fried in its skin but eaten skinless contains a slightly higher calorie count. This is because the turkey skin fat seeps deeper as the bird cooks.To minimize fat content,  take the tender meat that is furthest from the skin. Reach into the bird! If it's deep fried in canola or vegetable oil at a higher temperature (350 degrees+), it will absorb less fat and oil than ones fried at lower temperatures. 
You worried about trans-fats? Check the frying oil label for 0 grams of trans fat and no (partially) hydrogenated oils or vegetable shortening on the ingredients list. Here's the American Heart Association site with informative answers to trans fat FAQs. 
If fried turkey is not for you, have a lean protein alternative or meat replacement

Let's get this clear, I suggest skinless roasted turkey breast as your best bet. BUT, I'd be less worried about a healthy portion of fried bird (the size of a lady's palm, fingers excluded) than a plethora of decadent desserts. 
Wah-lah: Moist, delicious perfection!
 CREAMY, lush mushroom soup introduced the dinner. This holiday, the mushrooms were grown organic, but not by us. There's always next year. My dad received grow-your-own white button and portibella mushrooms for Christmas!! YUM!
The chilly tartness of the homemade grapefruit-mint granita did some cleansing for our pallets.
 Romanesco-steamed for service-was my favorite! This plant is a relative to cauliflower. Right now, we're scheming to plant these goodies for next Christmas day!!!
The infamous coconut cake (with enviable rise due to farm-fresh...yes home-grown...eggs) was decorated with royal frosting snowflakes for winter. It's so swoon-worthy that you could crush on its pink flakes.
And homemade whip cream for topping or paint for holiday whiskers. Got Milk...whipped?
I'm sure our backyard turkey-men, named Christmas and Thanksgiving, give a special thanks to Bee Haven Maven who made this dream-meal tangible without them being on the plate!
Doggy Yin and Yang, here, wish you a balanced holiday.
Happy SNOW for 2011!


  1. Great post, Manny Bee. I see a future with pen in hand!!

  2. wondefrul commentary on a wonderful Christmas repast..Fun day with lots of dogs....warm,fuzzy people and the best in gourmet dining...Happy NY...

  3. Hahaha I love the story about Sammy. And the fact that he is a chowpoogleweiler. Good post!!